A second chance in life. That’s what this is all about. It is a privilege to be able to live again in the same reincarnation. And let’s not pretend there is no reincarnation. What joy to recognise all the mistakes that were made and learn from them, to avoid them when they come at you to test if you learned the lesson. What joy to have learned the lesson. One lesson after another, waiting for it to stop. Ah, one day I will learn them all and rest in peace. That’s a convenient trick, universe. You got me convinced.
What is there to do with every minute? Count it. Look at the clock. Look out the window. Sigh. Close your eyes. Open your eyes. Listen to the clock. Get up. Sit down. Walk to the kitchen. Drink some water. Wash the glass. Pour more water into the mug for later. Coffee or no coffee today? Ah what the hell, this is the last one. Tomorrow I will stop. Oookay. It’s been a minute. If time is relative, it can be stretched.
As insomnia keeps haunting me every night, I find different ways to try and sleep. One of them is laying there in the dark under a duvet. Breathing, observing my breath, getting carried away by thoughts. Just your usual existence. And then I realise that I am scared. And then I realise how strange it is to be scared.
